So I've been told that it is mental health awareness week over here in the UK and it's come at the right time for me. I'm currently sat here writing this during my second day on diazepam for a flare up of my 10 year long neck issue that my doctors swear is muscle spasms caused by the tension of my overwhelming anxiety. I literally can not play bowling with my daughter or bend down to go on a slide with her a lot of days because it will cause another agonising flare up and I'll be sofa ridden for days. Purely from being so consistently tense that my muscles don't relax, they spasm.
Then there's the stomach acid and IBS issues I've had since my preteens - again caused by anxiety - that will leave me unable to eat, drink or move if I don't get on top of the treatment quickly. All this was happening while I was telling myself that I do not need treatment for anxiety any more, I am fine. Turns out I wasn't fine - the 13 unread messages on my Facebook or the 7 on my Insta that have been there for over a week should have told me that. So, once this week on diazepam has passed, I will be returning to the doctors to discuss a long-term solution to my general level of tension, which absolutely stems from my anxious little brain.
So, a little cautionary tale: if you are feeling shitty in any way shape or form, GO TO THE DOCTOR. I know sometimes you can be so used to feeling this way that you seem to think you're doing well when you're not, but if your physical body is crying out like mine is, chances are you could use some extra support. I guess sometimes I forget that mental illnesses affect your body just as much as your mind.
Take care of yourselves everyone.
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