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Xeno's Awesome Report

One door close. Another door opens.



Hey everyone. I wanted to take time off my gaming post and do this exclusively to you all here on Embr Gaming community before I go out public on twitch. 

I've always been ask about how I started streaming and trying to be a creator content whenever I browse through twitter or asked about it in real life. I always stated the negativity of my life, that is getting a concussion and going through a heartbreaking break up with my ex, that I only gave a vague reasoning as to how I got a concussion in the first place. Was it because I participated in a sport? Maybe. Was it a fight? You could say so. But I think I ought to come out with the actual reason and importantly why I joined and why I have to leave. 

I've been a wrestling fan. I enjoyed wrestling show much that I figure I be the next Hulk Hogan, Bret the Hitman Hart, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, Kurt Angle, Eddie Guerrero, or John Cena to name a few. I followed it for years and I followed it so much that it is almost like a religion, you follow one promotion and you follow it on a weekly basis. At some point of my life when I was young, I wanted to go to wrestling school, to the dismay of my mother who is only looking out for my well being. I search for wrestling schools around my home but sadly never had the money for it. That is until 6 years later I got the chance to go to school. When I first saw how wrestlers look, they were big, beefy, jacked up men who could bench press two semi trucks in 10 reps. However, my interest peeked when I was introduce to Indie wrestling. Guys who are a smaller size yet treated as mega superstars. And to my surprise, the school I gone to run an independent show. I was greeted by one of the founders of the school and meet one of the students who is in the show. Actually, that was my third time meeting the founder, as the first two I went to observe. 

My first day was nerve wrecking as I have to learn the basics. It was tough yet I know that I can't give up right away, not after paying a year worth tution to get there. I made some friends and I learn how to wrestle. Then the day finally came. My first gig at a show. And I debut as....a referee. Yes. The guy you see on twitch and even join channels started off as a referee. But I learned a lot both inside and outside the ring. I learned from the best, and improved myself. I finally got to travel outside of my home and even enjoy a grueling three day travel from three different states. I also got hurt a lot. Minor injuries from bumps and scraps to big ones such as a whiplash, think of it as having your head snaped back without a head rest after being rear ended, to nearly having a broken neck. Note, I'm not trying to expose the business nor scare anyone, things happen. It was until I got the dreaded concussion that I was out for a month. 

After a break up and seeing how things are going, I felt like I've come to a cross road. I have a job, but it's not really enough to help pay for bills and such. And I want to continue training but unfortunately things aren't going the way they are. My break up made me feel I'm not worth the guy to be. So I decided to apply for college once more. Thankfully, a university accepted me, and is doing their best to get me to class. But since the acceptance and phone calls and emails, along with streaming, my focus stray away from wrestling. I know I can't do this for long. Over the years I learn how to be humble, to be thankful, to be honest, and to be hungry for what you need. But what also learn is to say goodbye to the thing you love. 

It's hard to drop everything you are doing just to go back to get a piece of paper, plastered on a glass frame or on a folded book, with your name on it and say you completed a course and received a degree. However, my instructors value education a lot more. They see this as an opportunity for something bigger. Something more exciting. It was hard to explain it to them, but I did, and they acknowledged it. They are happy for me to go back to school and I am happy and proud to do my part. In wrestling there is a saying, "pay your dues". Yes it is refer to money, but there is a lot more to it. You help out in anyway but any means. But you have to help yourself out a lot more too. And this is me paying my dues in order to get a better education. Attend seminars to get my twitch name and gaming career out there. Going through stressful days at work and trying to figure out how to get finacnes for college. And hopefully participate in group game making and doing my part. 

What I also learn is one important value in life. You path the road you want to by speaking up and make decisions for yourself. I made the decision to go to wrestling school and learned a lot during my 6 year tenor. Yet, I also learn that I can leave for something better and take some of those values and input them into what I am working on. It is never too late to do the things you love and want to do. Would I go back to wrestling? Maybe....maybe. But for now my focus is going to college and graduate. And who knows, maybe I make a kick ass wrestling game after all. 


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